I have a new concept of freedom to document during this moment of my life. I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, but I’m sure I’ve never experienced this personal exposure and connection to “life” before. I feel as though I’ve always been pursuing a certain destination and thought once I got “there”, I’d have a new sense of joy and satisfaction of life. But for the first time in my life, my eyes are opened to the multiple stages you reach and the incredible excursions you embark along the way. I have a longing to capture my current outlook in a resealable container in fear this might be a fleeting feeling.
There are many explanations for why I’m in this place. I grew up in the most supportive, encouraging environment. It was clear I was lead to believe I could learn anything, do anything and be anyone I wanted if I let myself strive for a goal. Through this upbringing it was almost an unspoken expectation that I would thrive and wholeheartedly attempt to be successful in some sense. For this internally established principle, I am thankful.
Growing up, I was a more wary, nervous person inside. Others couldn’t always detect this, but I feared unknown social situations and unfamiliar opportunities. I got frequent stomachaches due to a constant feeling of anxiety and fear of what might happen at any given moment. It felt like a personal prison, as I never let myself go and fully experience life. I’m not sure how I’m almost completely rid of that burden, but I thank the Lord everyday that He’s allowed me to escape.
Perhaps this idea of freedom has been introduced to me because I’ve accepted and created the concept of worldly success for myself. I received a wonderful education (without student loans, thanks to my parents), avoided excessive heartbreak, have lived my life with no health barriers and find myself living and loving my dream job on a daily basis. Maybe I’m feeling this way because I have minimal baggage (at least just a carry-on sized worth) and have nothing to tie me down at the moment.
Of course, one day I’m sure I’ll be “settled” as most are and I’ll enjoy that portion of my life in a different way. I’m excited for that chapter of my future, but I have no plans to rush this current state of mind away. I’m currently at a place where I accept most opportunities that cross my path whether it be a chance to meet someone new, discover a hidden treasure of this Earth or utilize myself to better someone else’s day. I currently have a feeling of exploration; to experience every possible moment of life in hopes I’ll learn something new or knock down another wall I’m possibly holding up.
Wow, someone's learning how to write and express themselves pretty well! Perhaps the "resealable container" is, in fact, this very written expression.
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